Univision’s Randy Falco Faces Tough Job Ahead

You should always trust this blogger when she tells you someone is onto something.

Not sure you remember this, but Univision’s COO Randy Falco was hard at work May 19th posing for the cameras and showing Univision’s owners he was not only fit for the top job, but could easily hang out with some of the network’s big-breasted most talented people.

Falco today was appointed Univision’s President and Chief Executive Officer (CEO).

Congrats, Randy, now can you go get some Spanish lessons?

Marketing English Lessons in Mexico Is No Brainer

Via: Hazme el Chingado Favor

What to Call a Mexican Ice Cream Chain in New York

If you are remotely familiar with La Michoacana, and its über successful chain of ice cream parlors throughout Mexico, you’d understand why this is one of the most brilliant monikers, like, ever.

Photo: Laura Martínez. Chelsea, NYC. June 26 (Gay Pride)

Tom Hanks Does Univision’s ‘Despierta América’… Proves Gringos Can’t Dance

…And speaking of Hispanic media and Chiquinquirá Delgado, watch as Tom Hanks spices up Univision’s weather segment during a fleeting visit to the network on June 21, the longest and most caliente day of the year.

Quick! Get Your Copy of ‘Gente Latina’ so You’ll Be Able to Shoot Me an Email

Hispanic print media continues to impress me beyond words.

This time, the June edition of Gente Latina brings readers some super valuable information, such as How to send an email, which is like, super cool, because as everybody knows we Latinos like to communicate with each other using telegrams, postcards, sign language, smoke signals and the like.

John McCain Wants You to Know Immigrants are not Only Evil, They are Also Arsonists

Next time you want to blame God for your misfortunes, you might want to turn to undocumented immigrants instead. After all, that might be more convenient and will eventually make you feel better for not spitting all over God and stuff.

Ask Senator John McCain, of Arizona, who pretty much thinks undocumented immigrants should be blamed for the state’s wildfire crisis.

“We are concerned about, particularly areas down on the border, where there is substantial evidence that some of these fires were caused by people who have crossed our border illegally,” he said over the weekend. You don’t believe me? Just watch!

Why Carstens Might Not be Ideal for IMF Top Job

I always thought that one good thing about having Mexico’s Finance Minister Agustín Carstens replace Dominique Strauss-Kahn as head of the IMF, is that he would spend more time eating than groping chambermaids in hotel rooms.

But upon refreshing my memory with this picture from a recent Mexico visit by the Sarkozys,  I became increasingly anxious at the possibility.

It seems our finance minister has a knack for both, eating and ogling women.

Ay, caramba!

U.S. Airports Will Be Screening Your ‘Mexicanness’

One thing I’ve always loved about Americans is their penchant for specialization.

Take a special unit at Newark Airport that is becoming so adept at racial profiling that they have come to be known as the “Mexican Hunters.”

According to the Daily Mail:

Transportation Security Administration (TSA) workers told investigators that screeners routinely singled out Hispanic men for referral to law enforcement under trumped up suspicions, in an orchestrated scheme to pump up numbers.

To be sure, these fellows are also stopping Dominicans, but hey, you cannot ask them to be that good at telling one Hispanic from another, can you?

Here’s Your Chance to See Jorge Ramos in Tanga! Well, Maybe Not

As soon as I heard the news of Univision launching a summer campaign featuring its entire talent, I grabbed a mojito and a good pair of reading glasses, ready to see for the first time a scantily-clad news anchor…man.

Alas, while there’s plenty of skin shown by the likes of Chiquinquirá Delgado, Patricia Espinoza, Karla Martinez and Bárbara Bermudo, Jorge Ramos appears not only fully-clothed, but wearing a long sleeve shirt, a pair of jeans and shoes. Shoes!

Come on, Univision! Can you for once think about us girls?

P.S. I did notice that Raúl de Molina and Don Francisco also appear fully clothed… and I will ever be grateful for that.

Pro-life Latinos Just as Scary as Pro-life Non-Latinos

If you thought the most dangerous place for a Latino was Arizona or a meatpacking plant in Minnesota, think again. According to Latino organization Unidos por la Vida the most dangerous place for a Latino is, well, in the womb of their evil mamitas.

The not-so-obscure organization has the support of Texas Governor, Rick Perry, and is endorsed by some Latino luminaries, including Emmanuel, Verónica Castro, Karyme Lozano and Leticia Calderón, who are expected to show up at some kind of pay-per-view event June 12 in Los Angeles. Also, according to Fox News Latino, they are planning a media blitzkrieg featuring the billboard above.

Ay, caramba!

Clorox Wants You to Know Cleaning is ‘Rite of Passage’ for Latinas

I always knew my mom was onto something truly cultural every time she scolded me and my sisters about our messy rooms. Thanks to Clorox now I know this was nothing but a rite of passage; something grandmothers and mothers do to keep our Latinoness -not necessarily our cleaningness- in check.

According to a Clorox press release:

A new study, which explored the housekeeping lessons and cleaning routines shared between generations of Latinas, also revealed that cleaning is a rite of passage, taught by mothers and grandmothers and meant to influence present-day routines and brand choices.

Man, it’s all coming back to me now! I kind of remember begging my mom not only the perfect quinceañera, but for a 2-liter-bottle of Clorox that I could eventually pass on to future generations. How culturally relevant we all were back then!

Who Said There Are No High Paying Jobs in NYC?

Got a knack for preparing ‘sanwiches’? Wanna make $600 a week? No speak mucho English? No problem!

Hurry, muchachos! A Manhattan food entrepreneur is hiring… and want’s you badly.

[This blogger would apply if she could... alas, I am a muchacha, not a muchacho, but I'll keep my eyes open.]

Photo: Laura Martínez

Puerto Ricans Offended by Coor’s Light Ad. This Blogger Offended by Bad Beer

UPDATED: It didn’t take long. Coor’s Light late Thursday decided to pull the Emborícuate campaign. Uy ni aguantan nada!

As if New Yorkers didn’t have enough worries, with the Weinergate at its peak (no pun intended) and all, now we have to put up with yet another ridiculous controversy: Turns out many Puerto Ricans interviewed by a local TV station are pissed about a Coor’s Light ad featuring the copy “Emborícuate,” apparently because they say it sounds a lot like “Emborráchate” (Get Wasted)

I find it odd that this ad campaign, now in its third year, is drawing the ire of New Yorkers right now. Perhaps is the hot weather, or the fact that our city is rapidly becoming the world’s capital of sin. Who knows? In any case, this blogger -not a boricua herself- is more offended by watery beer than by any advertising copy.

Just one thing though: What’s with the line about “La celebración de la parada”? Are we back to the Weiner story? I am confused!

Palin Honors Legal Immigration by Visiting ‘Statute’

#masbrutanopuedeser

Kraft Wants More Hispanics to Drink their Kool Aid

It is a good thing there are now more than 50.1 million Hispanics in this country, so that companies unable to grow their brands among healthy-minded Americans can now turn to the so-called minorities to peddle their fast foods and sugary drinks.

Take Kraft’s Kool Aid, which this month announced it will devote most of its advertising budget against U.S. Hispanics.

According to the New York Times:

Kool-Aid, in a first for any Kraft brand, has allocated the majority of its 2011 marketing budget to reach Hispanics. Television commercials that began running this week on networks including Univision and Telemundo feature families drinking the beverage at festive occasions.

The Spanish-language pitch goes beyond the convenience of dissolving some powder in your glass of water. Kool Aid, says this advertisement, will actually help your children have fun…. And if everything goes according to plan, they will soon qualify to take part on the upcoming Hispanic version of The Biggest Loser.