I Just Found the Perfect Visual for my Future Hispanic Breast Surgery Business. Thanks, Twitter!

Sofía Vergara and her two Golden Globes just tweeted this from the SAG Awards in Hollywood. And I’m wondering how long it will take for a Hispanic plastic surgeon to jump on this promo opportunity.

Photo: @SofiaVergara at Twitter.com/sofiavergara

Are you Latin or Latin Looking? Pepsi Needs You!

Attention Latin and Latin looking [sic] people! Pepsi is looking for you, and giving you a chance to make some extra dinerito. Apparently, all you have to do is watch Raising Victor Vargas, and look like an everyday, regular Hispanic, but attractive. Piece of cake!

Here is the original casting call, sent out to this blogger by a loyal -anonymous- reader and via casting company Impossible Casting. Enjoy!

From: Impossible Casting <info@impossiblecasting.com>
Sent: Fri, January 21, 2011 6:52:43 PM
Subject: – Impossible Casting – PEPSI PRINT

NY LATINS NEEDED FOR PEPSI PRINT

TYPE: PRINT
CLIENT: PEPSI
SHOOT LOCATION: NYC
RATE: $900 FLAT FEE
USAGE: Unlimited unrestricted all media except for broadcast, for unlimited time worldwide
SHOOT DATES: February 19, 20 and 21.

DESCRIPTION: Real People Feel and Vibe! A range in Hispanics represented from, Mexican American to Puerto Rican to Dominican…etc. Authenticity is very important. Attractive and approachable but not too beautiful. Should not look like actors. Should look like everyday,
regular people but attractive. Interesting faces, but not too character-y.

LATIN OR LATIN LOOKING

ROLE ONE:  MALE 18-19 LATIN (URBAN VIBE SEE RAISING VICTOR VARGAS)
ROLE TWO: FEMALE 18-19 LATIN  (URBAN VIBE SEE RAISING VICTOR VARGAS)

ROLE THREE:  MALE 25-27 LATIN
ROLE FOUR: FEMALE 25-27 LATIN

ROLE FIVE:  MALE 30-50 LATIN
ROLE SIX: FEMALE 30-50 LATIN

TO SUBMIT: EMAIL PICTURES AND CONTACT INFO TO: SOFTDRINK@IMPOSSIBLECASTING.COM

This blogger was very tempted to apply, but then again my friends tell me I look a bit too “character’y” so I guess I’ll have to pass. What a bummer.

Watch NFL Latino Superstar Mark Sanchez Treat Teammate as Human Tissue

Yeah… This is just what we needed to get the U.S. media say more nice things about us, The Mexicans.

Watch Latino NFL superstar Mark Sanchez pick his nose and then wipe a booger on teammate Mark Brunell Sunday night… [all while losing 19 to 24 to the Steelers in what could have been their ticket to the Super Bowl XLV.)

I recall seeing plenty of Kleenex growing up in Mexico. I swear.

U.S. Gives Mexicans a Warm Welcome [Not Really]

Don’t believe everything you hear about the U.S. not wanting any more Mexicans. In fact, the U.S. government has just put in place a system to offer Mexicans -and other international travelers- a hassle-free entry into the U.S. Say what?

Aptly named Global Entry, the program allows international travelers (Mexicans included, of course) to use electronic kiosks at 20 U.S. airports to bypass the long passport processing lines. According to Global Entry’s Web site:

Though intended for frequent international travelers, there is no minimum number of trips necessary to qualify for the program. Participants may enter the United States by using automated kiosks located at select airports.

Alas, it looks like only a small portion of my paisanos will be able to enjoy the program, as it applies exclusively to travelers with a valid passport and U.S. visa.

Oh, and did I mention it costs $100? I guess membership does has its privileges!

Philly Union Not Happy at Prospect of Wearing ‘This’

And speaking of popular clothing, The Philadelphia Union, a MLS team, is undergoing its own T-shirt drama: Thanks to a multimillion dollar sponsorship by Mexican food giant Grupo Bimbo, the team’s players are going to have to run around wearing the company’s logo or -as many are already calling it, the “offending moniker” BIMBO.

The season hasn’t even started, but some fans are speaking up about the whole thing. At least one fan has said she would not attend games with her kids until the misogynistic slur was removed from the team players chests.

“Misogynistic”? Wait ’till she gets her hands on a Negrito Bimbo. I’m sure she will throw a fit.

Watch below to see Philly Union’s CEO talk about Bimbo and the sacred ground that is the team’s jersey:

Polo Ralph Lauren Might be Overlooking Huge Branding Opportunity in Mexico

I don’t know you, but if I were the marketing fellows at Polo Ralph Lauren I would be jumping on a major branding opportunity going on right now South of the Rio Grande: For some strange reason, it looks like every crook, rapist, kidnapper, drug dealer we succeed in catching, show up wearing the exact same type of Polo Ralph Lauren shirt, looking as proud as I would be wearing a pair of Prada shoes.

Will Polo Ralph Lauren wake up and smell the café? If not, can the rest of us try to persuade these fellows to switch brands so at least some of us can make a little out of the whole thing? Por favor?!

Hat tip: Hazme el chingado favor

Hugo Chávez Thinks ’12 Corazones’ Reduces Relationships to Genitals. I Beg to Differ

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’d know by now Venezuela’s Hugo Chávez has banned a bunch of television shows, including two of Telemundo’s blockbusters, Caso Cerrado and 12 Corazones, denouncing them as “degrading” and even claiming the latter “reduces relationships to genitals.”

Ay, señor Chávez, usted siempre tan exagerado… I’ve seen dozens of clips like the one posted above and to this day, I have seen no genitals. Yet.

De Niro Preps New Film: ‘The Deported’

It didn’t take long for Latino activists and other minority media vigilantes to slam actor Robert De Niro for what they deemed a racist remark last night at the Golden Globes Awards ceremony: In trying to be funny, the actor mumbled something about waiters -and Javier Bardem- not being there because they were deported… or something.

Watch it and judge for yourself… As for me, I am not really offended as a Latina or even an immigrant… I’m mostly offended as a funny person: I think my jokes about deported people are waaaaaaay funnier. But, hey, that’s just me!

Want to Target Hispanic Tax Payers? Just Show Them a Good Set of ‘Nalgas’

In a world of constant bombarding of advertising messages, how do you get the attention of the Hispanic tax payer? Well, just show them some nalgas, say Pronto Insurance, which is releasing two :30 TV and radio spots in English and Spanish titled “Nalgas” (rear-ends) “to capture market share during tax season.”

The Spanish-language spots, crafted by Machete, are airing on Univision, Telemundo, and Televisa.

Nothing much to add here, just read the press release here and enjoy yourself. As for me, I’m on my way to call a Pronto representative to get me a good rear-end hopefully by April 15.

How to Say Choco Mil in Proper English

Ah…. Mexico! How I love your food, your beverages, your liquefieds (licuados) and -more importantly- your English-language menus.

Photo: Laura Martínez (Chiapa de Corzo, CHIS.)

Mi Blog es tu Blog 2010 in review

The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Wow.

Crunchy numbers

The Louvre Museum has 8.5 million visitors per year. This blog was viewed about 270,000 times in 2010. If it were an exhibit at The Louvre Museum, it would take 12 days for that many people to see it.

In 2010, there were 167 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 830 posts. There were 185 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 47mb. That’s about 4 pictures per week.

The busiest day of the year was April 27th with 2,366 views. The most popular post that day was Forget Arizona. Mexico Gets Own NASA. Yay!.

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were wordpress.com, facebook.com, hispanictips.com, adage.com, and mahalo.com.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for guatemala, selena gomez, thalia, jenni rivera, and jenny rivera.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

1

Forget Arizona. Mexico Gets Own NASA. Yay! April 2010
27 comments

2

Selena Gomez Wants you to Eat More White Bread August 2009
15 comments

3

Wondering Where I am? June 2008
9 comments

4

Mexicans Find Better Use for Border Fence September 2009
12 comments

5

We Missed Jenni Rivera on the Green Binder November 2008
4 comments

English Spoken in Frontera Corozal, Chiapas

Photo: Laura Martínez, Frontera Corozal, CHIS