The Top Ten Reasons Why Everyone Should Spend New Year’s Eve in Mexico City

Starting today, you will notice this blog will not be updated daily, simply because this blogger has decided to take a well-deserved break from unemployment underemployment. And where better to do so than in the land of eternal sleeping, drinking and procrastinating?

So, in the most old-fashioned Letterman-style countdown, here are the Top Ten Reasons Why Everybody Should Welcome the New Year in Mexico City.

1. You can ice-skate in the middle of the Zócalo. For free.

2. It is the only Latin American city to have legalized gay marriage (not that I plan to marry a gal there. Yet.)

3. There are virtually no illegal Mexicans there (we’re all documented…sort of)

4. We think homophobes are just like Hitler

5. You can say “Happy New Year!” a full 2 hours before they do so in California

6. Our churches still know how to protect their sanctity

7. You can swear up to 20 times a day there

8. Chilangos beat the hell out of the English in group smooch

9. You can have chilaquiles for breakfast. Everyday. Everywhere

and last, but not least:

10. Street taco makers will do anything to protect your health

Got other reasons? Share them with me and see you in 2010.

¡Feliz Año Nuevo!

Stop Wracking Your Brain. Good Copy -and Strong Visuals- Will Have Latinos Buy your Stuff

Forget Verizon’s mariachis, Kellogg’s Touch of Honey or Absolut Vodka’s re-drawn borders.

Here is a great example of how a good visual -and a kick-ass name- will have Latinos run and buy your product, without spending a fortune on media or dealing with those impossible Argentine creatives.

Toma tu Bizcocho is a product of Union Telecard, the creators of Mi Cubanita, and from now on my favorite company, like, ever.

Hurry! You Can Still Buy Your Hispanic-Themed Christmas Gift Online

Lil’Hugs Hispanic Doll is not only still in stock, but she can be yours for only $14.95 at Amazon.com.

For reasons I yet have to understand, snuggly Lil is pitched by her creators as a “Hispanic Doll.”

I guess it’s got something to do with her being dark-skinned. But then again, she doesn’t look anything quite like the Hispanics I’m so used to watching on Hispanic Television.

I’m confused!

But, hey, it doesn’t really matter… It is Navidad. So ¡Feliz Navidad!

And Just When You Thought Hispanic Media Couldn’t Sink Any Lower…

Target Style magazine, a title I’m not rushing out to buy, had the “brilliant” idea of body painting Niurka Marcos with the colors of the U.S. and Cuban flags… Why? may we wonder…

To “Raise awareness about 50 years of Cuban exile,” said the magazine’s editor, apparently with a straight face.

I could not possibly add anything else here, except that I’m off to check myself into the MIDBFM (Mental Institution for Depressed -and Bitter- Former Magazine Editors.)

Wanna join me?

Univision’s ‘Special Correspondent’ Grills President Obama on the Chimney Issue

Grammy-award winning singer and member of Univision’s Board of Directors, Gloria Estefan, this week sat down with President Obama to discuss some of the most pressing issues concerning U.S. Hispanics, including health-care reform, immigration, Latinos in the economy and -of course- Christmas at the White House and cookies for the reindeer.

In fact, while still walking the halls of the Casa Blanca, Estefan fired up her first -and in her own words, “very important”- question for the Commander in Chief:

GLORIA ESTEFAN:
It’s very beautiful. And by the way, I have a very important question to start off this interview, which chimney will Santa be coming down?

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA:
Well, we think that he’s going to be coming down into the Yellow Room, which is right at the middle of the Residence. So, that’s where we are going to set the cookies and the milk, because after working all night, giving the gifts….

GLORIA ESTEFAN:
And something for the reindeers…

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA:
And the reindeers, we’ll have a little reindeer snack out there…

GLORIA ESTEFAN:
That’s wonderful…..

Ah, yes that is wonderful indeed! Feliz Navidad, morons!

It’s NOT the Network. It’s la Fiesta Total!

I suppose my career counselor was right when he said advertising was not for me. Otherwise, how could I possibly explain my failure to conceive a creative piece like the one above? Showing mariachis and folkloric dancers to show your cellphone provider has coverage in Mexico??!

Shame on me.

Still, there are other creative pieces I like much better, at least in their use of the ubiquitous Mariachi, including French’s, Lucas and CNN Expansión. [Not to mention, of course, political campaigns like that of Miss Meg Whitman in California.]

Ajúa!

Adweek’s ‘Marketing Special’ Unveils Shocking Revelations About U.S. Hispanics

Nielsen-owned Adweek, Brandweek and Mediaweek magazines, which -surprisingly- are still around, this week released a 5-page special advertising issue featuring some shocking revelations about U.S. Hispanic market, including:

-Hispanics are the fastest-growing demographic in the U.S.

-Famous Hispanics include Salma Hayek, Alex Rodriguez and Gloria Estefan

-Not all Hispanics are created equal; there are Mexicans, Dominicans, Cubans, Chileans, etc. etc. etc. z z z z z z z

-You can reach Hispanics in Spanish AND in English

-Hispanics don’t live in a vacuum [I suppose they live in apartments, houses or -as is increasingly the case- in mobile homes]

Turns out, the “special feature” is nothing but an advertising section, presumably (or shall I say, hopefully?) paid for Acento advertising and People en Español.

Phew!

Click on the following link if you are brave enough want to read the full report:

1130_HispanicMktg_lo_res

FULL DISCLOSURE (And before you think I’m just resented, here): I was the founding editor of Marketing y Medios, an English-language trade publication co-branded with Adweek, Mediaweek and Brandweek and I’m a regular blogger for AdAge.)

Mexican ‘Sufganivot,’ Anyone? New York Chef Gives New Meaning to Jewish Cuisine

Ever wondered what Mexicans eat around the Jewish holidays?

Why, of course, a generous portion of Negra Modelo-braised brisket tacos, Jerusalem artichoke gratin puré and -what else?- dulce de leche-stuffed ‘Sufganivot’ for dessert.

Yumi!

Hat tip: The Science Babe

NALEO Wants you to Know Joseph and Mary Got Themselves Counted. And so Should You

Behold this promotional ad for the 2010 Census, because if Evangelical leaders have their way, it might soon disappear from the face of the Earth.

The above poster is part of a broad campaign by the National Association of Latino Elected Officials (NALEO), urging Hispanics to make themselves counted in the upcoming Census. Because, really, what better way to get Latinos on your side than telling them Jesus was in fact born during a Census ordered by Caesar Augustus?

Alas, Christian leaders don’t find the thing amusing at all.

“The Bible establishes clearly that we are not supposed to use the name or God or Jesus in vain for any other purposes than worshiping,” Rev. Miguel Rivera, head of the National Coalition of Latino Clergy and Christian Leaders, told the Washington Post.

I don’t know you, but there’s something very puzzling to me about the whole thing: I mean, I do want to get myself counted but… where am I supposed to find a donkey?

Harlem Barber Shop Embraces Diversity

I first bumped into this sign on November 25th, walking around West Harlem, happy to see “my people” were finally taking over a mostly Dominican neighborhood…

But then, I walked by that place again only to find this: What on Earth happened?

I have no idea, but as a fellow blogger and friend suggested: The first one is there to work on straight-hair customers, while the second one will take care of your curls.

Ah… isn’t diversity just wonderful?

Hot, Passionate, Illegal… and Fully Literate?

Man, there was so much I didn’t know about Cristián de la Fuente, including the fact that he is prepping for the Dec. 29 release of Hot. Passionate. And Illegal (Penguin $24.99) a 304-page personal account of his experiences as a Latin person in the U.S.

According to Penguin:

“De la Fuente uses his personal and funny experiences as a Latino in Hollywood to dispel common myths and admit the sometimes embarrassing, yet endearing, truths about Latinos.”

Basically, what that means is: you will be paying $24.95 to learn about some “embarrassing, yet endearing, truths about Latinos,” something I’ve been doing for years (at absolutely no cost for you!)

So, if your financial situation is not looking very peachy, just stick to this blog, and uncover some embarrassing things about Latinos , including recent literate incursions here, here and here.

[See? I might not be very caliente or apasionada, but hey, at least I'm generous... And don't get me started on the legal, illegal thing.]

Univision Wins Headline of the Week Hands Down

Have a wonderful, hoyo-free weekend!

Mexicans Rejoice! You Too Can Own The Diet Ring

Adiós Dr. Manny!

Mexico’s chubby taco-crazed populace is abuzz with the recent introduction of The Diet Ring, an “intriguing magnetic spiral ring” that will help you lose up to 38 pounds in one week (even while you cook or lie down doing absolutely nothing!)

The contraption, developed by prominent “Oriental scientists” retails for “only” $399 pesos, which is approximately eight times Mexico’s minimum wage. But, what the heck! As happy customer Marcela Carrasco tells us in the following video, it is very well worth the expense.

[I just wonder if you lose weight because by buying the ring you can no longer afford buying any food]

Latinos and Republicans Share Same Values… And an Unbridled Passion for Mariachi Music and Hats

In her ongoing campaign efforts to bring “a brighter future” to California, Meg Whitman wants Latinos to pick her as the state’s next governor. Why?

Simply because, as Whitman says herself: “Many Latinos share the values of the Republican Party: lower taxes, accountable government and a system that value systems that rewards innovation and entrepreneurial thinking,” and –from what I could gather in the following video– an unbridled enthusiasm for Mariachi music and gear.

Watch as she addresses a crowd at Cielito Lindo Restaurant, while being serenaded in the background by -what else?- a Mariachi band playing El Son de la Negra [or... shall we say El Son de la Afro-Americana?]

Hat tip: Blogadera

In a Coup Against the McSkillet, a Hispanic Chef Latinizes the Burger

If you thought Latinos were going to stay on the sidelines after McDonald’s made the bold step to put its Big Mac on a tortilla, you were plain wrong.

In an unprecedented, culinary vindictive coup, Hispanics (in Miami, where else?) are striking back by launching the Latin Burger Truck, a kitchen on wheels featuring the $5.75 Latin Burger, a “blend of ground chuck, chorizo and sirloin, topped with melted Oaxaca cheese, caramelized onions and red-pepper mayo,” so that you, too, will be able to boost your cholesterol levels á la Latin style.

The Latin Burger on wheels is the brainchild of Ingrid Hoffman, the Colombia-born host of Simply Delicioso, a Food Network cooking show that (I hope) teaches us a little more than adding chorizo on American junk food.