From Soccer Star to Pizza Delivery Boy

You know the economy is tough when Hispanic celebrities have to moonlight as pizza delivery boys and promoters of the Yellow Pages on the same issue of a nationally-distributed magazine whose cover they are also gracing.

This is Cuauhtémoc Blanco on the cover of ESPN Deportes La Revista (May/June 09) and on the back cover of the same magazine, pitching the Yellow Pages as a pizza delivery boy (for reasons still unknown to this blogger). Click on each photo to expand image.

[Oh, and let's not forget the singing!]

Media’s First Order of Business: Learn How to Spell Sotomayor

Needless to say: my favorite part about American media’s coverage of Sonia Sotomayor’s appointment to the Supreme Court is that very few people seem to get her name right. I mean: not even the L.A. Times, hailing from a city that is, like, 105% Hispanic.

Sotomayer? Sotomoyer? Sotamayor? Sotameyer? The possibilities seem endless (just like Chávez’ anniversary radio show)

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The following story is from the Kansas City Star, which we cannot forgive, especially now that Latinos are starting to take over the place.

Want more: There’s plenty! Just click here, here or here.

Chávez Celebrates Everlasting Presidency With Endless Broadcast

How else would you celebrate a 10-year presidential term with no end in sight than with a 4-day radio and television broadcast of the president himself?

Yes, my friends. Just when you thought Venezuelan media couldn’t get any more interesting, President Hugo Chávez today announced that a special edition of Aló, Presidente, the radio and television show he started ten years ago, will kick off Thursday May 28 and will broadcast, uninterrupted until Sunday May 31st.

As Chávez told some media outlets, “the program will be just like a telenovela…there will be music, interviews…”

Which I thought was kind of funny, because other than RDB there is not a lot of music going on in telenovelas -much less interviews, so we’ll just have to wait and see!

Veracruz Finds Novel Idea to Attract Tourism

If you thought there was no smart way to attract tourism to La Gloria, the impoverished Mexican village that is supposedly the epicenter of swine flu, think again: Veracruz governor Fidel Herrera has found a novel idea: He is building a statue honoring Edgar Hernández (a.k.a. El Niño Cero) the 5-year-old who is believed to be the first human to have contracted H1N1.

(My friend just suggested he should be called “El Niño Cer(d)o”)

I have no idea how much the statue will cost (it’s a small kid, after all) but I bet you it won’t be close to the $90-million the government is spending on ‘Vive México’ the marketing campaign it launched this week to revive tourism by promoting the country as a safe destination (safe from influenza, that is, not violent murders.)

Whites Become Minority in Kansas County. [Still Majority in San Miguel de Allende, Puerto Vallarta]

It was just a matter of time: Finney County, Kansas became majority-minority [sic] between 2007 and 2008.

Put it simply, this means than more than half the population is made up of a group that is not single-race, non-Hispanic white, according to CNN.

But Finney County is not alone. According to recent U.S. Census figures:

Nearly 10 percent (309) of the nation’s 3,142 counties were majority-minority as of July 1, 2008.

Whites shouldn’t despair, though… They will always have San Miguel de Allende, Cabos, Vallarta, Chapala, and so on…

And You Thought Stanford School of Business Was for Suckers!

If you thought fancy colleges were for suckers, think again: Los Tigres del Norte, the adorable band of originally undocumented norteño musical brothers on Tuesday (May 19) gave a crash course on Business at the university. Why? Because they make much more money than you, me and all Ivy-League graduates together: $150 million in 2004, according to some press reports.

Looking Like a Flu-Sickened Mexican Will Help you Get a Seat in London’s Underground

That’s it! First it was Burger King, then South Park. And now Schweppes is reportedly using a sombrero-wearing Mexican fellow suffering from swine flu to pitch their ridiculously refreshing beverages! Wanna seat on the tube? Grab a box of kleenex and a giant sombrero and off you go!

(It is likely that this “ad” was born and lives only in the bowels of the Internet… but if it’s a real Schweppes campaign, I CANNOT wait for the ensuing outrage and lame apology by some agency!)

Pardon???!!!

Hat tip [pun intended] to my friend, Gutierritos

People en Español’s ‘Bellos’ Party Treated Guests to an Awesome Almodóvar Moment

As you might imagine, this blogger is not well this morning. Too much partying reporting last night at People en Español’s Bellos party, something that has become sort of an annual ritual -for me and 50 other beautiful people.

Unlike previous years, the party last night at Manhattan’s Edison Ballroom was much smaller (just like the economy.) But less was certainly more, as People editors regaled us mortals with an awesome musical number featuring Cucu Diamantes and a troop that included a female contortionist clown and an awesome pint-size guitarist. (Thank you, People en Español, for sparing us the reggaetón)

Photos: Laura Martínez

Influenza Virus Was Brought to Cuba by a Mexican Student, Not the CIA: Fidel

The swine flu case found this weekend in Cuba was brought to the island by a Mexican student in Havana, and NOT the CIA as everybody Fidel Castro had feared. According to Granma’s Reflexiones del Compañero Fidel: 

Hoy se anunció la presencia del virus de influenza A (H1N1) en Cuba. El portador es un joven ciudadano mexicano que estudia medicina en nuestro país. Lo único que puede afirmarse ahora es que no lo introdujo la CIA. Vino de México.

But wait! what if this particular Mexican works for the CIA? eh? anyone? 

[Hat tip to Mariana Carreño King, an avid reader of Granma online]

Father Alberto Speaks Up: I Wear Pants Under My Cassock. Not at the Beach, Though

Father Alberto Cutié tells Univision’s Teresa Rodríguez that he doesn’t really regret his canoodling on the beach because, as a man, he wears pants under his cassock. However, judging from the TV Notas pics, I think he prefers not to wear much. At all. Ever.

Univision aired the full interview with Father Alberto on Tuesday (10 PM/ET.) Click on the photo below if you have nothing better to do to watch the full interview.

Location Played Key Role in Father Alberto Cutié’s Fall From Grace: NYT

Forget all you’ve heard (or not) about the now infamous Hispanic celebrity priest Padre Alberto Cutié, who this week was caught on camera canoodling with some woman on the beach.

As far as the New York Times is concerned, the whole thing was bound to happen. The reason? Location. Location. Location.

“Father Cutié’s parish sits in the heart of South Beach, where even the mannequins have extra-large breasts,” wrote the NYT.

Had his parish been located in, say, Washington Heights, where mannequins are known for their extra-large buttocks (not breasts) his fall from grace would have been completely different (and maybe he would still be preaching in church, not on Univision.)

[sigh]

Religious Jews Join the Cinco de Mayo Fun. Realize Kosher Tequila Also Gives Bad Hangovers

Any day is a good day to drink. But religious jews living in New York City this week were treated with a taste of a very special, Kosher tequila made just for them.

At an event aptly named “Hava Tequila” thousands dozens of religious jews joined the Mexican consul in New York City for their first sip of tequila. The event was appropriately spiced up with (what else?) a Mariachi band, a group of traditional Mexican dancers and plenty of pastrami burritos.

A few shots and several burritos later, New York City jews were left wondering what it is about that drink that didn’t leave them feeling very ‘kosher.’

Happy Birthday To Me! There’s Nothing Like Beauty Queens to Cheer Up an Aging [Grumpy] Blogger

After several hours months struggling about what to post on this perfect occasion (birthday number *#$%^&*) I decided to go with my favorite video, ever. E-V-E-R. Not only because it provides me with 45 seconds of uncontrollable laughter, but because it constantly reminds me of the fact that being old -and hopefully a little wise- might be better than being young and dumb. (I can’t afford surgery anyway!)

Oh, and now that I have your attention, don’t forget to watch the spoof, featuring none other than Miss Piggy herself.

Thank you, ladies, for making me feel like Einstein every day!

Hat tip to my friend/colleague Edgar, who unearthed these jewels just in time!

Meet The ‘Pig-ñata’. Have a Happy Cinco de Mayo!

What better way to celebrate this influenza-themed Cinco de Mayo than with a $19.99 piggy-themed pig-ñata?

Bash this baby, eat your Flaguamole and have a Happy and Safe Cinco!

(And remember: This blogger’s birthday is on the 6th so don’t forget to send presents: surgical masks, gallons of Clorox and/or Purell are welcome.)

Confucianism According to a Panamanian Beauty Queen

Miss Panama Bella 09 candidate gives us a lesson on Confucio, that extremely old Chinese-Japanese guy who invented Confusion.

This one is worst than Miss Teen USA South Carolina 2007. By far.