Out on a Mexican Immersion Tour (II)

Hi everybody! Time has come -yes, again- for this blogger to take a well-deserved vacation… in Yucatán, of course! where else?

So starting today (Dec. 21) and until my pesos run out, I will be somehow out of touch, hopefully taking long siestas, sipping tequila and stuffing myself with cochinita pibil (which, for some odd reason, is not part of the Hot Latin Diet.)

In the meantime, keep reading. Remember I’ve been posting stuff for almost two years now, enough for you to get acquainted with Latino media and pop culture.

Otherwise, just take the poll and tell me what you’d like the Reyes Magos to bring you back from “down there.” 

Ingrid Betancourt Visits la Basílica de Guadalupe. Poses Next to a Properly Dressed Virgin

Former FARC guerrilla hostage, Ingrid Betancourt this week was in Mexico City, presumably talking about kidnapping and stuff. But also -as shown here- she took the opportunity to mingle with some Catholic church guy and to pose next to a properly dressed virgin… unlike you-know-who.

Photo: El Universal

Finally. A Wrestling Match I Would Actually Attend

Wondering what to get your familia in these times of economic uncertainty? How about a front-row ticket to see some real fighting between Mexican wrestling legends and a bunch of Americans dressed as Border Patrol agents?

No, people, this is no joke. San Francisco-based Pro Wrestling Revolution is making it all happen, and tickets are only, like, $10 apiece (almost the cost of a Chipotle gourmet burrito.)

Now, that is what I call a good deal… (and wrestling I can actually relate to.)

Castro and Calderón are BFF Now

Long gone are the immensely funny days of Vicente Fox asking Fidel Castro to eat and then leave (“Comes y te vas”) during the 2004 Summit of Monterrey. Those leaders’ respective successors are now like BFF, and were spotted giggling and hugging each other pretty much all the time at this week’s Latin America and Caribbean Development Summit in Brazil.

Looks like time has come for “Comes y te quedas”.

(Blogger’s note: Where are the journalists’ shoes when you need them?)

The Land of Zapatero Unveils the Wii Zapatilla

George W. Bush proved to be unusually alert -and agile- when dodging a shoe attack this week during a press conference in Iraq. Thus, Spanish blogger Polonio 210, is now proposing a new game, the Wii Zapatilla, challenging players to finally get W with a buen zapatazo.

(UPDATE: Spain’s Prime Minister, José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero, kindly asks you to spare him the jokes.)

Kidnapping Expert Gets, Well, Kidnapped in Mexico

Life is not a tómbola. It’s just one big fat irony. Félix Batista, an American security consultant who has helped negotiate the release of dozens of kidnapping victims in Latin America, this week was kidnapped in Mexico.

According to the New York Times: The consultant, Felix Batista, 55, was giving security seminars for business owners in Coahuila State when he was abducted by a group of armed men.

As of Monday night, officials in Mexico and the U.S. were still trying to figure out the whereabouts of Batista. This blogger, meanwhile, was going, duh, that’s really messed up!

Never Judge a Book by its Cover (nor a Writer by her Cleavage)

Enough with virgins. Let us move onto a more intellectual subject: books and the people who write them.

Take Niurka Marcos, the untalented, promiscuous Cuban “actress”-turned TV host, who this week released her first book: Soy (as in “I am” not as in “soy milk”), an autobiography of sorts showing us she might not be as illiterate as we originally thought.

Soy has a first print run of 10,000 copies, way fewer than the 80,000 sold by Playboy Mexico’s December issue.  Still, the voluptuous thespian-turned-scribe is poised to oversell Talk Dirty: Spanish, by yours truly… It’s gotta be the cleavage.

Playboy Honors Virgin Mary by Putting Her on Cover

December 12 is one of Mexico’s most important holidays: It is the celebration of the Virgin of Guadalupe. And what better way to honor our Santa Patrona than gracing the cover of Playboy with Virgin Mary herself?

Well, sort of. This is María Florencia Onori, posing as Virgin Mary for this month’s Playboy Mexican edition, which in a matter of days has sold 80,000 copies, proving -once again- that print is not quite dead yet.

(Oh, and in case you were wondering: she is not the one who reportedly saved Oliver Atom’s life.)

It is a ‘Transcreational’ Miracle: Japanese Soccer Anime is Saved by the Virgin of Guadalupe

In marketing and advertising, the term “transcreation” is defined as “the process of using an original text as a brief for writing new copy that meets the conditions of the target audience.”

So I guess that’s why Captain Tsubasa, the Japanese manga, anime and video game series, has not only been re-named Oliver Atom in the Mexican version of the series (Los Supercampeones), but when in danger, he manages to be saved by the Virgin of Guadalupe. ¡Milagro!

Now I wonder if the dad’s moustache is also part of the Mexicanization of the series… anyone?

Cataluña Says: “Yes, he Can!”

You might not know this, but people from Cataluña have a peculiar fixation with defecating people. Thus, the popularity of the caganer, those little statues that have become a true  Christmas tradition, along with Tío de Nadal, whose droppings eventually turn into wonderful presents for children (do not ask!)

After a few days in Barcelona,  I have encountered dozens of these funky statues, but today I finally came across one that explained what President-elect Barack Obama really meant when he kept saying ¡sí, se puede!

(For the record: I just paid 14 euros for this.)

Camels, they are Just Like Us

Here is a real good reason to build a fence along the U.S.-Mexico border: to stop the freaking camels from sneaking in.

Yes, my friends. A couple of days ago, two camels were spotted in the border town of Ciudad Juárez, looking all suspicious and all, presumably trying to get across unnoticed. According to AP:

Two camels nibbling on a pine tree along a street in this desert metropolis on the Texas border. Police tried lassoing the animals, which lunged at the officers with snapping teeth as onlookers chuckled.

Wait a second… a pine tree in Ciudad Juárez? Now, that´s gotta be a mirage!

Ketchup, Capsu or Capsut? Take the Quiz!

Only a few weeks ago, this blog introduced readers to the ultimate ketchup spelling. Remember?

We all seemed to love it, but then a challenger came across….

So, what is it going to be? Capsu? Capsut?

Please be so kind and help this blog maintain its “relevancy” by voting on your preferred ketchup spelling.

(This will hopefully entertain you for a while, as I’m ready to spend some days in Barcelona, where -I am sure- there will be more interesting things to do than writing stupid things on a blog.)

Photos: Hazme el Chingado Favor

Take the Challenge II: What do these Guys Do for a Living?

Inspired by the popularity of the Latin Grammy Reading challenge, I decided to serve my readers with yet one more mind-boggling defiance: Without reading the following press release twice –and based only on the following first paragraph– please answer the question: What is The Hive Model all about?

Christopher Campos and Marco Castro announced the launch of an international search to maximize their pioneering and proven Brand Optimization business model in the US Hispanic advertising industry. The duo purposefully created the model to incite greater collaboration between Client and Agency—fulfilling the increasingly requisite role of going beyond long-established Hispanic ad agency services that primarily focus on brand promotion by incorporating functions related to brand marketing.

Ok, Ok… once you finish reading the whole thing, the answer becomes crystal clear:

Campos asserts judicious diligence in finding the right environment to expand their offering. He confirmed the uniqueness and comprehensiveness of their proposition provide the essential foundation to enable several opportunities.

[I'm just glad they will not specialize in writing press-releases]