Romney is NOT Mexican, But He Wouldn’t Mind Univision Spreading the Word Out

As everybody knows by now, Univision’s Jorge Ramos this week sat down with both Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney to discuss some issues relevant to the Latino voter, for example, when and how are they going to bomb Cuba and kill the Castros.

However, this blogger’s favorite moment came when Romney denied being Mexican-American, but yet asked Ramos to spread the word out, thinking that little “white lie” would get him ahead among the Latino electorate.

You don’t believe me? Just watch!

 

New Latino Dating Site Wants to Hook You Up With a ‘Sexy Culo Latino’

It had been a while since anybody pitched this blogger such a juicy, sexy -and sexual- new venture, so I was ecstatic to hear LatinDating is up and running.

I have no idea who Jim, Laura, Helen and Maria are, but given the carefully-crafted copy on the homepage, I can tell you they know a thing or two about Google search analytics, using words like culo, sexy, Latina, free, sex, etc. in no particular order, and following no grammatical rules whatsoever.

Ay, caramba!

 

Hilarious! Gingrich Compares Immigrants to Packages

The man who wants to be president of the United States, and thinks Spanish is the language spoken in the ghetto, thinks it is really funny to compare “illegal” immigrants with sitting packages.

I’m not laughing… are you?

The Twin Towers Are Alive and Kickin’ in Mexico

The owners of this cantina in the heart of Villahermosa, México, thought naming their joint Las Torres Gemelas (The Twin Towers) might not be impactful enough,  so they added a dash of reality by posting a photo of Manhattan with the Brooklyn Bridge as background.

Oh, and by the way, they are hiring and actively looking for a “presentable” lady who really wants to work…

Photo: Laura Martínez (Villahermosa, Tabasco. Dec. 2011)

AhorroCel Prices are so Low, You’ll Be as Surprised as Finding Out Your Son is ‘Maricón’

Mexican cell phone distributor AhorroCel wants you to know their low prices are so AWESOME that you’ll be as surprised as finding out your son is a maricón…

I’m warning you, people, if you -or someone you know- has ever come across a maricón, this video is almost sure to go viral in 10….9….8…7…6………..

Hat tip: Who else? Ricardo Trejo

Mercedes’ Chief Thought Using ‘El Ché’ to Peddle Luxury Cars Was an Awesome Idea

Yeah, this was the image that gave Mr. Dieter Zetsche a big P.R. headache and forced him to apologize to the Cuban exile in Miami.

Turns out the head of Daimler’s Mercedes unit, didn’t stop to think that using the image of El Ché to peddle a luxury car was not going to sit well with many people … especially the Cuban exile in Miami, who think El Ché is pretty much the same as the diablo en persona.

Ah… the wonderful world of marketing!

¡Salucita! Mitt Romney Will Make Your Latino Family Sip Wine at Lunch

It’s not just because he’s a fellow Mexican, but I’m starting to see some positive stuff in the whole Mitt Romney-thing… For example, it looks like under his rule, our Latino almuerzos will be wine-infused, which is, like, oh-so-maravilloso!

You don’t believe me? Just watch…

Parisian Style Subway Entrance and Tacos al Pastor. What Else Can I Ask For?

Greetings, followers, from Mexico City, home of the 10-peso taco al pastor and a mayor who wishes he ruled Paris.

NOTE: I am sorry for having abandoned this blog for such a long time, but I never realized how much time eating good food actually takes. So bear with me.

Photo: Laura Martínez (Ciudad de México, 2012)

Attention, Hispanic Worshippers; Now You Can Pray at a Hispanic Church

There is nothing like a Sunday at a Hispanic church, before enjoying a Hispanic meal complete with Hispanic mayonnaise, Hispanic tuna and a good, healthy Hispanic lettuce.

Have a wonderful Hispanic Sunday!

Photo: @garsiknews taken in Washington, D.C.

CBS Changes Name of Upcoming Latino Show ‘Cause Typing an Upside Exclamation Point is a Bitch

If Fox News Latino my sources are right, CBS’ upcoming “Latino-themed sitcom” starring Rob Schneider will be changing its name to Rob! from the previous ¡Rob! because people at CBS just found it too hard to type an upside exclamation point every time they wanted to promote the damn thing.

Scheduled to premiere Jan 12, Rob! centers around a gringo character named Rob (duh) who marries a Mexican, and gets “immersed” in the whole Mexican family experience (all this from a gringo point of view, of course.)

Rob! features some Latino luminaries, including Eugenio Derbez and Cheech Marin, which I can anticipate will be doing the funny accent thing and plenty bean-related jokes for our viewing pleasure.

I cannot wait for this thing show to start, as it promises to be great fodder for Mi blog es tu blog. You don’t believe me? ¡Just watch!

Now You Can Enjoy Latin America Without the Dangers and Annoyances of Latin America

Attention, non-Hispanic Americans: Are you afraid of being killed in Mexico? Mugged in Central America? Sickened by some deadly bug in Peru or Brazil? Worry no more!

Thank your undocumented and documented Hispanic immigrants for the latest trend in U.S. tourism: Latin American cultural immersion trips in the confort of your own city!

Sí, señores! Latinos are a smart bunch, wo we’re using the neighborhoods we’ve taken from gringos to lure them back, and invite them to get a taste of our fun, dance, food and drink-filled culture! (And no, you don’t need to get a passport, nor take a malaria pill.)

You are welcome…

So, welcome to El Barrio!

Unshocking Revelation: Rich Latin Americans Have Maids [Black, Indian, Same Difference]

It is so interesting when news of racism outside the U.S. reach the U.S., simply because it is a historically-charged, sensitive issue.

The picture above -first published in HOLA! magazine, has reportedly caused some “outrage” in several media outlets, mainly because of the presence of two maids in the background.

The outrage, as I understand it, has to do with the fact that the two maids in question happen to be black, which is, of course, unusual to many Latin Americans who are mostly used to hire indians as help.

My point: Should that picture featured a couple of indian maids (inditas as rich people would lovingly call them) wouldn’t make so many of us blink, would it?

Classism is kind of OK… but racism? God forbid!

Will You Help Me -and Burro Hall- Raise Some Money to Buy BoycottAbsolute.com?

Dear friends, followers and supporters:

This blogger is hereby joining forces with Burro Hall to make a bid for the “valuable assets” of the soon-to-be-doomed Americans for [sic] Legal Immigration organization, which, as we sadly learned today, is heading towards bankruptcy.

Per an urgent bulletin (LOL) first posted on Burro Hall:

We are sorry to report that for the first time in our organization’s history, we have failed to reach our minimum operational expenses for our final funds drive of 2011. All things being equal, this would put us on a final shutdown date of January 1, 2011

Among other things, and in an effort to raise about $10,000 by February 2012, ALIPAC is putting several web domains on sale, including BoycottAbsolut.com, the organization’s reaction to my now infamous “unAmerican” advertisement, and pitched as a “rapidly growing separatist movement in America.”

So Whaddaya say?… Will you all chip in and help us buy at least that one? We promise you months of hilarious pro-illegal immigration postings!

Mitt Romney Cares for Hispanic Voters. Visits Conchita Foods to Prove It

Only one thing is more pathetic than a politician campaigning for votes: A Republican politician courting U.S. Hispanic voters.

Watch Romey as he visits South Florida’s Conchita Foods to receive the endorsement of three Cuban-American GOP heavyweights (Ileana Ros-Lehtinen, Mario Diaz-Balart and his brother Lincoln Diaz-Balart).

The four amigos might not be in agreement on hot-topic issues like immigration, but I’m sure they all agree Conchita Foods offers some delicious frijoles negros and dry lentejas.

Deeelish!

OMG, You Guys! The Strauss-Kahn-Diallo Saga Comes to Telemundo… Well, Not Really

I though this was going to be yet another bleak week, but then I remembered Telemundo’s Una Maid en Manhattan premieres tonight (8:00 PM/ET) on the Telemundo channel.

In a nutshell, this is the story of a terribly-good-looking hotel maid (Litzy) who moves to the U.S. with her little son, gets a job at a swanky hotel and meets a dashing hunk (Eugenio Siller) which confuses her for one of the rich hotel guests… because, as we all know not all maids look like Nafissatou Diallo, nor all hotel guests are as disgusting and horny as Dominique Strauss-Kahn.

This is a maid-to-order feel good story and very likely great fodder for Mi blog es tu blog.

So stay tuned. I will keep you people posted on this impossibly-realistic love story.