While These Dolls Vacation in Mexico, This Blogger is Off to an Undisclosed Location

I yet have to find a T-shirt that spells out where this blogger likes to go on vacation. In the meantime, I leave you with these other Latinas, who despite swine flu and The Huffington Post, still like to have fun down there.

Have a happy summer and don’t despair if I don’t update this blog that often. You have years of my useless insightful observations to go over in the meantime!

Forget Corn Flakes. Cargill Knows What We Really Want for Breakfast

Only a few days ago, we learned that Hispanics were nuts for a touch of honey in our food, but now, Cargill has come forward to give the marketing world a lesson on what our real Latino palates are all about.

Per a June 30th press release, the company has launched a new line of pork products, which are “based on extensive consumer research to match and exceed the needs and expectations of multicultural customers such as Hispanics and African Americans.”

“The new Rumba pork products include ears, hocks, jowls, kidneys, neckbones, split front feet, stomach, tails, fatback skins, hearts and livers.”

Because, you know, there is nothing like a good pair of split front feet to begin our day!

Chávez Urges Venezuelans to Use Their ‘Vergatarios’ (And it’s NOT What you Think)

You might not know this (why would you?) but the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela prides itself -among many other things- on having manufactured one of the world’s cheapest cellular telephones, specifically designed to be available to the masses in a sort of no-caller-left-behind communications policy.

“The $14 phone is made using Chinese technology and featuring a camera, radio and MP3 player,” according to a Reuters story.

So far so good, but somebody still has to explain to this blogger why Mr. Hugo Chávez insisted in naming these cuties Vergatarios (a crude name for male genitalia). Judging for the picture, the “penis phone” looks quite small…

oh… I see. Never mind!

A Tribute to The King of Pop, Corrido Style

From the same guy who brought us Barack Obama’s corrido (in English AND Spanish) now comes El Corrido de Michael Jackson.

Enjoy –and don’t mind the words if you don’t understand them. It pretty much says he was the King and all that… I just thought that the concept of a corrido tribute to the King of Pop is simply awesome!

Courtesy of Sinaloa 21.

Televisa Wants You to Know South Africans are a Bunch of Savages

Mexicans (and other Latin Americans for that matter) can be very touchy when they perceive they are being portrayed using stereotypes (hats, maracas, excessive soccer, mortal diseases… you name it). But -as my abuela used to say- we are often quick to find the faults in others, while being blind at our own faults (eso de la paja en el ojo ajeno, pues…)

In the following TV spot to promote the upcoming World Cup in South Africa, Mexican media giant Grupo Televisa gathers its blond, blue-eyed talent to sing to the tune of The Lion Sleeps Tonight while a bunch of natives (presumably South Africans?), giraffes, lions, zebras and other wild animals make a triumph entrance at the Televisa Deportes newsroom. Because, you know, Mexicans are fair skinned and work on desks with computers… not like those savages!

How to Sell Mexican ‘Food’ in Japan

Forget about Absolut Vodka and Burger King’s Texican Burger, the makers of Don Tacos have found a culturally-relevant (and insanely amusing) way to pitch “Mexican” food to the Japanese, with church and zapatería included.

Watch, wear your sombrero, take a bite and have fun!

Jennifer Lopez Shutters Clothing Line. And Not Because It Looked Like This

It turns out JLo’s Made-in-China haut couture clothing line Sweetface has gone out of business. And -surprisingly enough- NOT because it looks like this, but because the economy kind of sucks. Go figure!

According to WWD, this marks the end of Lopez’s clothing business in the United States. And, at least for the moment, there is no word on how or when the possible relaunch will take place.

Fashionistas weep.

Kellogg’s Reaches Out to Hispanics by Adding Honey [and a Little BS] to Corn Flakes Cereal

Brilliant marketing minds just don’t seem to stop working…

In its latest “branding breakthrough,” Kellogg’s is adding honey to its popular Corn Flakes cereal to target the Hispanic crowd (something this blogger is having a hard time to comprehend.)

“Kellogg’s Corn Flakes has been a part of the Latino breakfast experience for years,” Susanne Norwitz, director of brand PR at Kellogg’s told Brandweek magazine. (So, I wonder: why change it now?)

Anyhow, to make sure this thing is actually targeted at us, Kellogg’s has added the line “With a Touch of Honey” in both English and Spanish, because, I suppose, after all these years we haven’t figured out that honey is miel en inglés.

[Hot tip: Enjoy your plate of Corn Flakes con Toque de Miel while sipping your café con leche and surrounded by all those bongos in your office!]

The Real ‘Casa’ Louis Vuitton Is in Mexicali, Not Paris

You can accuse my people of whatever you want, but you cannot deny Mexicans are a creative bunch.

This uniquely designed house was spotted in Mexicali, Mexico, and as far as we know is the first -and only- place that can rightfully be called La Casa Louis Vuitton.

Hat tip: Hazme el Chingado Favor

NBC: You Really Never Know Who Is Hispanic These Days

Wanna win a discontinued CD of The Miami Sound Machine? one ticket to Broadway’s Washington Heights for your abuela or a coupon for free café con leche at the bodega? Watch the following video and then try to answer the quiz below.

Buena Suerte Amigous!

more about “msnbc.com Video Player“, posted with vodpod

Is This What the New Dora is Up to These Days?

Just in time for Puerto Rico Day Parade in New York City, Dora the Explorer seems to be Livin’ la Vida Loca in West Harlem (with Sponge Bob, Barbie and Hello Kitty as untroubled witnesses)

Ay, Caramba!

Photo: Laura Martínez

Happy Chinchilli Day! I’m Off to Vegas…

Well, not really… but I thought a hard-won victory over an army of Mexican gun-wielding chinchillas is a great excuse to take some time off.

Ah… the wonders of advertising!

Video: Las Vegas Tourism Board

Queen Sofía Is Just Like Us! She Flies Low Cost

Low-cost airline Ryanair (yes, the same airline that is asking us to pay for using the loo) is somehow pissed at Queen Sofía of Spain after she and her Royal entourage managed to scrap a Ryanair print ad featuring the Queen herself….The reason?

Ryanair found out Queen Sofía recently booked a £13 (15 euros) Ryanair flight to England to visit her sick brother, so the company promptly released an advertisement featuring the Queen herself and the -aptly- tagline: Fly like a monarch, something the Queen didn’t find funny at all, though this blogger thought it was, like, great. The best slogan. Ever.

The implied joke, of course, was that the Queen is cheap, so Ryanair ultimately agreed to withdraw the ad.

Come on! Can’t our royalty also save some bucks amid this economic mess?

West Texas Mayor Quits Post, Moves to Mexico With Undocumented Lover

It looks like undocumented Mexican workers not only want to steal your jobs, but also your so-very-cute politicians.

Just when we thought “coming out” was still not very “in” among some high-profile individuals, the mayor of a West Texas city abruptly resigned Wednesday after acknowledging being involved in a relationship with an undocumented Mexican. According to the local press, J.W. Lown, 32, mayor of San Angelo, said he didn’t want to take the oath of office knowing he was “aiding and assisting” someone who is not a U.S. citizen. He was to be sworn in Tuesday but did not show up for the ceremony.

“I left a home. I left a ranch. I left a promising political career,” Lown told the AP.

The pair are said now to be in Mexico, reportedly living la vida loca waiting for a visa to return. Ah… l’amour!

Conan O’Brien’s ‘Noches de Pasión’ Is Better, Funnier Than Real Telenovelas

more about ““Conando” Acknowledges His Spanish-Sp…“, posted with vodpod